Cancer

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Hey! I’m Kim!

Hey! My name is Kim and I live on Vancouver Island, BC. Shortly after my 34^th birthday, I was diagnosed with ER/PR+ Her2- stage 2b breast cancer. I underwent a lumpectomy, followed by 8 rounds of dose dense AC+T chemo, and 28 treatments of radiation. Read more

Follow me on Instagram @kangell82

Starting out this new week feeling grateful and grounded. I don't know what happened last week but it felt like I wasn't just on the struggle bus, I took the front row seat on that thing. I could barely get out of bed, or dressed, or motivated to do anything. And then felt guilty and anxious for not having the energy to do anything. Ugh it's such a vicious circle sometimes. . But that's been my reality some days. It can feel like everything is going really smooth for awhile and then there's days too where all I want to do is lie in bed all day and hope the fatigue and pain will just all go away. It's riding along these bumpy roads, and being patient with myself knowing that eventually I will hit that smooth patch again. . I remember healing up from my mastectomy and reconstruction surgery (and pretty much every surgery since) and feeling the same frustration. Trying to so hard to build my strength up beforehand to having to do it all over again. Knowing I needed to move but not knowing how to move forward. Feeling restricted but wanting so badly to push through the pain. . I saw @nalieagustin post about 30 days of yoga as I was healing up from another one of my surgeries a couple years ago and decided to give it a try for the first time. Having some quiet time just to be where I was now and not feel focused on where things were before. And now trying to step back into it and allow myself that same self compassion to heal slowly again. So this is where I'll be, on the mat following along with Yoga with Adriene (and Nalie) for the next 30 days. Who's in?

When fatigue hits you hard and all you want to do is snuggle with your dog all day in bed❤🐾

While all the kids were heading in for their first week of school, I was celebrating one year being back at work. It feels like just yesterday that I was digging out my work clothes from the back of my closet. Switching over from the medical jargon of appointments to being on my A game at work. . There were days of frustration. Ones where I struggled silently. Reading the same sentence three times over and not remembering what I read. Being in the middle of a conversation amd not being able to grasp at the simplest words. Feeling this need to explain everything away and put it all down to cancer. . But there have been lots of good moments too. I began to speak up for myself. Set boundaries. Learned to say no and not be a people pleaser all the time. Accepted that taking notes and putting everything in my calendar was just part of my new routine and that was okay. . But most importantly, I learned to give myself some grace and compassion. Knowing that I'm still healing and that it's okay to step back. I recently cut back my hours and, although it took me a long time to get there, it was one of the best decisions I've made. Putting myself higher up on my to-do list and working to live rather than living to work (more on the blog - link in bio👉)

When you've been struggling with anxiety all weekend and just want to get outside and spend the day hiking with the fam❤ . What are you up to this weekend?

When you come home from vacation to all this😍 So thankful to grow my own fruits and veggies at home and have a hubby who loves to fish! While I was off in wine country, he was catching salmon off the west coast. And the garden...it was busy growing out of control. . How I've managed to keep all of this alive, I don't know. I could barely take care of a houseplant 😂 But Josh built me some raised garden beds a couple years ago post mastectomy to avoid bending over and having to pay an arm and a leg for organic produce and voila! Officially Martha Stewart for life! . Anyone else have a garden at home?

So thankful for moments like these. The ones where your stomach hurts from laughing so hard. When your heart feels happy and full. And you get to just be a big giant goofball with your bestie. Napa was amazing this weekend - lots of laughs, lots of good food and wine (I'll have a blend please😂), and some epic impromptu karaoke sessions (Boyz II Men ballads will never be the same lol). Nothing better than having carefree moments like these focusing on enjoying life in front of me and less on what's behind me❤

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